If your marriage is in trouble, understanding how the calendar appears to affect divorce filings may help you keep your marriage together -- if you still have any interest in doing so. The first three months of the year stand out when it comes to divorce. Research shows divorce filings go up dramatically in January and continue that upward trend through late March.
Why So Many People File in These Months
The primary reason for the upswing in divorce filings appears to be people waiting until after the holiday season is over. They don't want to cause turmoil during Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year's. This can have numerous aspects.
Family Holiday Harmony
An unhappily married person may cherish the idea of a final holiday season as an intact family and want to make it special for the children. He or she may also not want to strike that emotional blow to the partner right before or during the holidays.
A married couple may even start feeling more positive about their relationship during the holiday season, as they become nostalgic about their years together and as they put forth an effort to keep their relationship harmonious.
When those fun times end after New Year's and the short, colder days are in full force, dissatisfaction with the marriage can return and feel worse than ever.
Stress Avoidance
Many people find Christmastime stressful for a variety of reasons. They may not want filing for divorce to create even more stress.
The Beginning of Affairs
One survey indicates that of persons who have had an extramarital affair with a co-worker, a holiday office party was the impetus.
Married people may be more susceptible to cheating due to depression or stress during the holidays. Come January, February or March, the spouse who had -- or is still having -- the affair may want to end the marriage. Or the other spouse may find out about the cheating and decide to file for divorce.
Financial Considerations
Getting a divorce costs money and so does the holiday season. A person may decide to wait until the expenses associated with gifts, dinners and parties are over before starting the divorce process.
The Last Straw
If a spouse who has been behaving in a negative way continues to do so during the holidays or escalates that behavior, the other spouse may decide it's the last straw. For example, excessive drinking may increase during Christmastime and New Year's, and that may solidify the partner's decision to end the marriage.
Making a Fresh Start in the New Year
The beginning of a new year is a common time for people to make resolutions about changes they want to make. Ending the marriage and moving onto a different path may be one of those decisions.
Do You Want to Prevent Divorce?
Understanding how the last months of the year can lead to increased divorces in the first months of the year is important. It may even help you save your marriage, whether you are the one considering divorce, or whether you suspect your spouse wants out.
For example, you can understand when you may feel more vulnerable to the attraction of another person and resolve not to give in to temptation. Perhaps if you discovered spouse had an affair, you can find it in your heart to forgive them.
If your excessive drinking is a problem, tackle that issue without delay. If you have been neglecting your relationship, give it the important attention it deserves.
Counseling during the last and first months of the year may be a life raft for your marriage.
If you truly feel ready to end your marriage or if you simply want to be prepared if your spouse files, consult a family law attorney for information on how to proceed.
