Divorce can ruin a life or even all the lives involved in the separating family. Rather than fighting tooth and nail, consider the many benefits of an amicable split, where you consciously make a good effort to work through the difficult challenges, instead of tearing each other apart.
1. Put The Needs Of Your Children First
No matter what, the children should never become part of a "war" being fought by you and your soon-to-be ex. Do what's best for them, and other things should fall into place, but if you try to make them part of a personal battle, the proceedings will quickly escalate into the ugly and unbearable, for everyone.
2. Make Your Health (Mental And Physical) A Priority
Stress over the divorce, staying up late to figure out bills and trying to keep what's left of your family propped up and positive will all wear you out if you don't make your health a priority. See that you keep up a healthy diet, get the sleep you need, have someone to talk to and exercise as much as you should. Otherwise, the overwhelming stress and duress may lead you to rash and regrettable decisions, not to mention compromising your mind and body.
3. Allow Each Other To Get Over The Lost Marriage
Divorce means you've both lost a lot, and not in any materialistic sense; it's important that you each be allowed to mourn the end of the relationship in order to move on and act in the best interest of the proceedings and the children.
4. Stay Civil On Social Media And In Other Conversations
Trash-talking during a divorce can and will be used against you in a court of law by your opposing attorney. It may be used to demonstrate immaturity and the lack of responsibility required to raise the kids, if custody is an issue in the divorce. If anything you post or say is a lie, that, too, will work against you, perhaps in the form of slander or libel charges, if what you've stated can potentially harm your ex with their business reputation or in the eyes of the children.
5. Understand How The Courts May Divide Your Property
Some states abide by equal division, while others enforce equitable division. Property accumulated during the marriage will be divided according to the state's laws, meaning you'll either split the assets down the middle or divvy them up according to who did the most to earn them, as determined by a judge. Ask your family lawyer right away how your particular state handles this profound aspect of divorce so that you can be prepared for what the future may hold. Assume nothing, until your attorney makes clear how the property will be divided, according to the specific laws governing your location.
6. Avail Yourselves To All The Help The Law May Provide
Beyond having a good family lawyer to guide you through the divorce, you may also benefit from mediation, which is a normally amicable means of resolving the issues that can snowball out of control, such as dividing assets and custodial time. Mediators leave important decisions up to the divorcing couple, and this way of doing things can actually be pleasant for everyone involved; however, because you have so much at stake, you should keep your family lawyer involved in the mediation process, should you choose that method of finalizing the divorce.
7. Try To Refrain From Making Emotionally Based Decisions
It's hard not to lash out at your partner as the marriage dissolves into a confusing and painful divorce, but doing so doesn't go over well in court. When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, send the law firm representing you an email, rather than calling your ex in angered haste. If everything you say and do is first run by your attorney for approval, you're ultimately going to be a lot more successful in the divorce proceedings and likely a lot less stressed and angry.
8. Listen To Your Lawyer
Contrary to what you may have seen in Hollywood-produced divorce comedies, lawyers don't want to pit couples against each other; they want the most amicable and fair agreement. Once your lawyer has laid out how your divorce will play out, plan on enduring the proceedings accordingly, allowing as few aggravating circumstances to permeate your thinking. No matter how much you hate, plot, or accuse, your case is still going to be determined by a judicial process; thus, accepting the facts and adjusting to life accordingly is a far more successful formula than fighting it out every step of the way.
Making the decision to divorce shouldn't mean mutually destroying each other's lives. On the contrary: it really ought to mean untangling the negative ties that bind and rebuilding life to accommodate the changes and encourage growth, for everyone involved. For more information, contact a family law attorney at a law firm like Ivy Law Group PLLC.
